Perfect Day

Yesterday, I had a Perfect Day. The stars had aligned and we had all travelled on the Friday night as a family for a somewhat spontaneous weekend on the coast. Saturday morning was pleasantly spent browsing the Moruya Markets with my daughter, after which she had been delighted to find a new lolly shop and I was delighted to find treasures in the 2nd hand shop. After lunch, those of us who were interested went to the beach. Nary a breath of wind, nor a single cloud to mar South Broulee on a glorious 28 degree late Summer day. Also no swell, which was disappointing for 16 year old surfie, but who could resist the glassy, blue green water? Not I. You could see the sandy bottom, and with no weed to tangle legs – it was bliss to swim out 100 metres or so and float lazily back in.

We eventually coaxed a smile from 16 year old, by playing Boogie Board rodeo and horsing around chucking his Frisbee in the water and then finally we collapsed on towels and sun-dried. It reminded me of Perfect Days as a kid when we would play in the sprinklers on the front lawn and then steam ourselves on the hot concrete of the driveway. Bliss.

Perfect Days aren’t arranged, they just seem to evolve. Saturday was a Perfect Day.

On the drive back home today, we stopped at Moruya so Stepford Husband, Middle Child and Daughter could stock up at the Lolly shop, leaving 16 year old and I in the car. I felt moved to tell him what constituted a Perfect Day for me – what it had been like as a kid and how it rarely translated as an adult. I thanked him for his part in my Perfect Day – concentrating on keeping any emotional waver from my voice so as to keep things light and not embarrass him with a sudden leap into deep discourse. As it was he was very quiet, gazing out the side window. Finally I turned to the back seat to give him a winning smile that accompanied my sincere thanks. And he turned to me, looked at me very seriously….and then he popped his earphone out and said “What?”

Alternate Universe

In case you thought that all humans exist in the same plane, I have proof that teenagers actually live in an alternate universe cleverly dovetailed within our own.

Background:  15 year old son is in a back-slab cast after breaking a bone in his right hand a week earlier.  This is his second cast in a week and he has narrowly missed having to have surgery to pin the bone in question.  The follow up appointment assures us that he has another three weeks in the cast – school holidays cover two of those, luckily because he is right handed.  I am overjoyed because it is school holidays and I don’t have to scribe his assignments for him anymore because he wasn’t allowed to hold a pen.

The story – containing proof of an alternate universe dovetailed within our own – follows….

I enter the house after an exhaustive round of taking daughter to a birthday party in the city.  Son is lying on the couch with his cast off, playing playstation and eating a sandwich.

Me:  What are you doing?  Why is your cast off? (Note: I did not have an hysterical tone in my voice, but he was able to discern that I may have been somewhat displeased.)

Son:  Chill, Mama – it’s fine.

ME Me:  It’s not fine – the doctor said to leave your cast on for three weeks.  As in Leave.  It.  On!!

Son:  No she didn’t – she said I could take it off whenever I wanted to.

Me:  What the..what?

Son:  Yeah, she said just take it off and have a stretch whenever you need to.

Me:  She said keep it on and don’t use it to support anything like that plate you have resting on it.

Son:  She never said that – she only said not to make a fist like this (Son demonstrates a sloppy fist) Ow!

Me: (Quite hysterical now)  What are you doing?  That’s what she said not to do!

Son:  It’s fine – I’m not doing it all the time.

Me:  Put the cast on!

Son:  Mum, it’s good for me to give my hand a breather – that’s what she said!

Me:  What room were you even in??

Son:  The same one you were, remember?  Seriously, Mum, you’re losin’ it.

 

What worries me – am I losing it in the real universe, or am I losing it in the alternate universe?  Which one am I in now?  And is it wine time yet?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Teen Angst

No-one really tells you that raising Teens is a physical, mental puzzle where all your resources come into play and the ones you don’t have you have to find/grow pretty bloody quick!

Being the parent of teenagers is a puzzle wrapped inside a conundrum.

You have to show you are in control, whilst knowing that you have none.

You have to make strict boundaries, and cross your fingers behind your back that they don’t break them, even if they give them a good hard push.

You have to pick your battles, turn a blind eye, and trust your gut all at the same time.

You have to stand right beside them no matter what, but you can’t be their friend.

You have to forgive..

and forgive…

and forgive…

yourself as well as your child.

You have to make sure they know you love them, even when you are shrieking at them.

Sometimes, you have to trust them even when you have very little reason to because sooner or later they will walk out of your eyesight.

You have to let them know you aren’t afraid of embarrassing them by calling the police, of calling the parents at the party, or turning up and that you mean it – even though they say they will hate you or not forgive you for doing so.

You have to not take anything they say or do personally LOL!

And you have to hold your head up high and smile at the people who judge you for your teenagers’ lifestyle/personality/judgement calls even though you may have other kids at home who are angels.

You have to find humor…and common ground…wherever and whenever you can.

And you have to keep doing it over and over again, until they get it and they grow up.

Many people think they are better at doing it than others – but often it’s the luck of the draw  When those kids of ours are out of our presence they are their own entities and despite what we may think, our rules and regulations aren’t worth the paper they’re written on when these guys are out under their own recognizance.  How many of us recall all that we did that our parents never knew about…don’t think your kids are doing anything less.

“This too will pass” and “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – they were totally made up by parents of teenagers!