Not only am I a bad mother, I’m also a bad housewife. I don’t enjoy cleaning. I like gardening. Unfortunately this leads to more cleaning because I traipse in and out, like, a billion times a day when I am home. I have a girlfriend who loves cleaning. She’s always surprised when she looks up at the clock mid-cleaning to find that hours have gone by. I, on the other hand, am in tears when I look up and realise that 15 minutes have gone by and I’ve only mopped three terracotta tiles.
This same friend came over once and told me she was buying me a book and she was really excited, she couldn’t wait to give it to me.
‘What book is it?’ I asked.
‘It’s called Speedcleaning,’ she said enthusiastically.
‘Oh YEAH! Great book, I have it already!’ I said.
‘Really?’ My friend looked around my family room with a strange expression. ‘Have you read it?’ she said.
I didn’t take offense
much. She’s a good friend. She helps me chuck and clear on occasion. And I deadhead her roses. Even when she doesn’t need me to.