Bad Mother Story #96

Did I ever tell you about the time last week when in the middle of a busy supermarket aisle, with children bugging me while I was trying to choose cereal for Pete’s Sake I finally lost the plot and told them in a very, very loud voice to ‘RACK OFF!’  Only, I was thinking another thing entirely, so it came out ‘RUCK OFF!’ and it came out just as the overhead Muzac stopped and everything was quiet.  Including my children.  You could hear crickets.  Just like that I turned into a possible person of interest to Child Welfare.  And in the awkward silence my daughter said to me ‘Please Mum, I just want to go and wash the blood off my face,’ which then flagged me for a Child Welfare phone call, at the very least.  And you try saying ‘Oh Sweetie, did the blood from the nosebleed you got from picking your nose in the backseat of the car, far away from me, get your face all mucky, I’ve been so busy shopping, I hadn’t noticed and here’s a crumpled tissue and, whoops, a tamponthat might help, here, let me be motherly and spit on it for you and we’ll get you all cleaned up, hehe,’ you try saying that in a cool, casual way, like you know you’re children aren’t going to be snatched off you the minute you step into the carpark!

2 thoughts on “Bad Mother Story #96

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