Polite husband of the bad housewife

Stepford Husband is a very nice man.   He is pretty, sensitive and polite but to balance all that niceness – he is no great shakes in the kitchen.  Sometimes I suspect this is deliberate so as to fool me into taking over the chores he doesn’t like to do e.g. ‘Here Honey, taste this nice casserole I made with some chicken, some discolored broccoli and the vegemite I found in the bottom of the pantry,’  or ‘But, I DID vaccum the family room!’

See, I’m not entirely sure when he’s really trying to help me or when he’s really trying to get on my nerves – all the while maintaining an innocent look on his pretty face.  So, I get my own back just in case it’s the latter.  I like to defrost some nice meat and leave it on the counter, making no moves towards the kitchen whatsoever.  He walks through the kitchen and spies the defrosted meat.  He may even turn it over to get a good look at it.  And I just leave it there and see how long it will take him and how he can creatively and non-offensively say those words of the 50’s TV husbands: “What’s for dinner, Sweetie?”

I giggle when I hear him mutter in a stage whisper “Mmmm this looks interesting!”  I chortle when I hear him stretch and yawn and say “I’m starving!”, and I snort through my nose when he says “Sausages!  Fantastic!” but I will downright glower at him if he says anything resembling “What’s for dinner?” no matter how pretty he is.  Got to keep him on his toes, after all.  And if this just sounds like another excuse to be a bad housewife, stuff it!  You may be right.

6 thoughts on “Polite husband of the bad housewife

  1. But a diabolical, megalomaniacal housewife with evil throaty chuckles — that makes it all right.
    Still can’t figure out what “Bare rooted fruit trees” means. Have they kicked off their sandals again?

  2. hello alyson its dennis the vizsla dog hmm that cassarole sownds just fine i dont no wot vejemite is eksactly but if its miksd with chikn i will stil eet it!!!!

    hello lavenderbay its still dennis the vizsla dog i am pretty shoor “bare root” is a sitty in the mithical country of lebanon so maybe it is sumthing to do with treez frum their ok bye

  3. Close. Bare rooted fruit trees are fruit trees that have gone to sleep in winter. They are bagged up and much cheaper to buy, but they also take better when they are planted in the colder weather than the warmer season when the drought gets her fingernails in again!

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