A taste of the years to come

Stepford Husband had barely walked through the door before Miss Seven Nearly Eight started on him.

Miss 7: Dad, dad can you download this song for me?

SH: Just let me have a litle rest Sweetie,  I’m very tired.

Miss 7: How long?

SH: Just give me ten minutes.

Miss 7: Could you do it for me before you rest?

SH: No, can you find something else to do for ten minutes?

Miss 7: No, I really, really, neeeeed it.  It’ll only take a second.

SH: It isn’t going anywhere, I’ll do it a bit later.  How about you do your homework?

Miss 7:  It IS my homework!  I need it to make a dance for school!

SH and Me: Really?

Miss 7: YES!  I’m doing a dance to it on Monday.

SH: Well, it’s only Thursday – really I could get it sorted for you tomorrow and you’d have plenty of time to practise before Monday.

Miss 7: But I need it now!

Me: Abbey, leave Dad alone – he’s very tired, he’ll look at it later.

Miss 7: Why can’t he do it now?

Me: He won’t do it at all if you don’t stop nagging him.

SH: OK, OK guys – don’t get cranky, I said I’ll do it just give me a minute.

Miss 7: But your minute goes for, like, an hour!

SH: What’s the name of the song, Abbey?

Miss 7: ‘Patience’

SH: *splutter*

Me: *snort*

Miss 7: Are you going to do it yet?

Me: Abbey, Dad is going to do the download for you, but first you have to do something.

Miss 7 (suspiciously): What?

Me: Go and get the dictionary and look up the word ‘patience’ and come back here and read what it says.

Miss 7: But…

Me: That’s what you have to do if you want Dad to dowload that song for you tonight.

Sound of Miss 7 stomping off to the bookcase.

Miss 7: I can’t find the dictionary..

Me: The red book next to the big Space book.

Miss 7: I can’t find the word.

Me: How do you spell it?

Miss 7: I don’t know, this is stupid, it’s not even in here!

Me: P-A-T

Miss 7: I KNOW MUM!!!

Me: I-E-N-C-E

Miss 7: Mu-uum!! I found it!

Me: What does it say?

Miss 7: It says ‘Patience: the ability to endure something or to wait calmly and uncomplain…’

Miss 7 SLAMS the book shut, storms to her room and SLAMS her door shut as well.

SH and I crack up laughing.

A note slithers out from Miss 7’s door.  It reads:

“I hate you Mum AND DAD!”

We crack up again!

She is SO going to get us back when we’re elderly!

 

Postscript: SH sits at the computer downloading the song and says to me: “How on earth is she going to dance to Guns & Roses’ Patience?”

Oh dear.

16 thoughts on “A taste of the years to come

  1. Why is it when these things happen in someone else’s family, it’s funny, but when it’s my kid slamming doors, I feel totally stressed out.
    Perhaps when kids hit teenagedom we should remove all doors in the house!
    Great story, will try and keep things in perspective till the next episode of 11 year old angst.

  2. Hi, Alyson!

    In keeping with your post, here’s a quote my personal assistant came across this week. It is from Martin Mull: “Having kids is like having a bowling alley installed in your head.”

  3. Jack’s Mom, my cousin had 8 children (and a bad memory!) and did remove the doors!! We have to laugh because there’s three of them and if you don’t laugh, you may well cry.

    Jeanie, I had no idea that the definition would be so concise – I have to say I felt as smug as a smug thing on a smuggy day 😀

    Oh, it is ALL comedy around here, drcorners, you just have to listen real hard 🙂

    Perfect quote Checkers, and true too! Of course, the pets just enhance that sense!

  4. That is such a funny story Alyson. 🙂 I can’t imagine doing much more than swaying a little whimsically to Patience. It will be interesting for you to see how miss 7 interprets it.

  5. Now that she’s talking to me again, I’ve managed to ascertain the song is Take That’s song ‘Patience’! No doubt one day she’ll recall in her own blog, the day that she asked her father to download a song for her and he gave her a copy of some weird old folks song with a two-step beat while her mother laughed til she cried on the couch!!

  6. Good thing she didn’t ask you for the “woo-hoo” song, or you’d’ve been there all night!

    I had the opportunity once of seeing my niece, Abbey’s age or younger, in a fit of pique. She was sitting on a big foot-shaped flagstone, and to show her anger she spun 360 degrees on her little butt to face the opposite way. My brother and I cracked right up.

  7. Absolutely, drcorners, the kids are astounded when I sing along to a club version of an old 80’s song – not realising at all that it’s old made new again 🙂

    Woohoo!!
    I have a great collection of the notes (nice and nasty) that Abbey has written to show me how she’s feeling: many of which are the written version of spinning on her butt to face the other direction – they are a hoot!!

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