Stepford Husband had barely walked through the door before Miss Seven Nearly Eight started on him.
Miss 7: Dad, dad can you download this song for me?
SH: Just let me have a litle rest Sweetie, I’m very tired.
Miss 7: How long?
SH: Just give me ten minutes.
Miss 7: Could you do it for me before you rest?
SH: No, can you find something else to do for ten minutes?
Miss 7: No, I really, really, neeeeed it. It’ll only take a second.
SH: It isn’t going anywhere, I’ll do it a bit later. How about you do your homework?
Miss 7: It IS my homework! I need it to make a dance for school!
SH and Me: Really?
Miss 7: YES! I’m doing a dance to it on Monday.
SH: Well, it’s only Thursday – really I could get it sorted for you tomorrow and you’d have plenty of time to practise before Monday.
Miss 7: But I need it now!
Me: Abbey, leave Dad alone – he’s very tired, he’ll look at it later.
Miss 7: Why can’t he do it now?
Me: He won’t do it at all if you don’t stop nagging him.
SH: OK, OK guys – don’t get cranky, I said I’ll do it just give me a minute.
Miss 7: But your minute goes for, like, an hour!
SH: What’s the name of the song, Abbey?
Miss 7: ‘Patience’
Miss 7: Are you going to do it yet?
Me: Abbey, Dad is going to do the download for you, but first you have to do something.
Miss 7 (suspiciously): What?
Me: Go and get the dictionary and look up the word ‘patience’ and come back here and read what it says.
Miss 7: But…
Me: That’s what you have to do if you want Dad to dowload that song for you tonight.
Sound of Miss 7 stomping off to the bookcase.
Miss 7: I can’t find the dictionary..
Me: The red book next to the big Space book.
Miss 7: I can’t find the word.
Me: How do you spell it?
Miss 7: I don’t know, this is stupid, it’s not even in here!
Miss 7: I KNOW MUM!!!
Miss 7: Mu-uum!! I found it!
Me: What does it say?
Miss 7: It says ‘Patience: the ability to endure something or to wait calmly and uncomplain…’
Miss 7 SLAMS the book shut, storms to her room and SLAMS her door shut as well.
SH and I crack up laughing.
A note slithers out from Miss 7’s door. It reads:
“I hate you Mum AND DAD!”
We crack up again!
She is SO going to get us back when we’re elderly!
Postscript: SH sits at the computer downloading the song and says to me: “How on earth is she going to dance to Guns & Roses’ Patience?”