One of the reasons we left our house in the suburbs of Canberra, was that I had unwittingly planted a couple of Jerusalem Artichoke tubers in the garden. Within 3 years they had formed multigenerational families and had their own bowling teams. Two years later they were holding organised meetings to plan their takeover of the world before the Winter freezes arrived to cut them down to size. Luckily for me, their timing was always poor and the 6 foot high monsters would be knocked to the ground, so that I could pull them out and feed them to the chooks, or use them to mulch the vegie patch cum chicken graveyard.
Seriously, once you have Jerusalem Artichoke in the ground your family will never go hungry….and you will never get rid of them. The flowers are like smaller sunflowers and are pretty and sunny waving gently in the breeze, a little over the average grown-ups head. The leaves and stalks apparently make great fodder for stock, and the warty tubers, cooked like potatoes, taste nutty; and creamy when they are stewed and blended for soup. These tubers are very good for the Type 2 Diabetic diet, as it works as a blood sugar stabilizer. What’s not to love? The little buggers are good for you, high in iron, full of inulin, natural, prolific, pretty, cheap, tasty…I could go on.
The tubers also make you fart. My boys used to love them because they don’t make little breathy puffs from your nether regions. They bring symphonies. That is the music of the Jerusalem Artichoke.
So, we fled our suburban Jerusalem Artichoke patch much as though they were Triffids…and truth be told…they look eerily similar. And then you know what I did this year? I bought some Jerusalem Artichoke tubers at the Farmers Market. Then I forgot about them in the bottom of the pantry. Then I found them looking shrivelled but still green. And because I hate waste. And because it is three years since we fled the Masters of the Universe JA Committee in Canberra. And because I have the reflective memory of a goldfish. You know what I did? You all know me by now. You know what I did.
I planted them.
I even justified it to myself by putting them around the chicken run as a windbreak (haha get it?), and as a shelter from the hot Summer sun. And in my head I was thinking “Now we’ll never go hungry again!”…you have to do it in a Scarlett O’Hara voice to really hear where I was. Which just goes to show Jerusalem Artichokes have developed mind control, and it’s a POWERFUL weapon!