Our middle child ‘lost’ his tooth last night; that is, if you define ‘lost’ as methodical extraction using blunt objects with the help of your older brother.
The tooth was placed into a glass of water and a playing card was placed over the top so that I did not drink it: a gruesome habit that I have derived from unexpected urgent thirsts, a need to save the environment by not wasting randomly placed glasses of water, and a stubborness to wear my glasses. Oh, and a complete inability to learn from having done it before. 5 or 6 times. You know, one day we will discover some amazing life promoting properties in drinking teeth and the water they sit in and I will be sitting pretty. Please, God.
As usual we forgot the tooth within 3 minutes of it being removed. Fast forward 14 hours to this morning 9am.
SH comes tearing into the room whispering frantically
“Two dollars! Two dollars! Have you got two dollars? Quick! We forgot the bloody tooth! AGAIN!!”
We thought we got away with it until our youngest sidled up to her father and said:
“I think you’re the tooth fairy.”
SH stammered something about tooth fairies and busy schedules and, yes, sometimes they do their work in daylight hours. He also waved his hands around alot. She narrowed her eyes at him and said:
“But the glass with the tooth in it was over there. And now it’s over here. Yeah, you’re definitely the tooth fairy.”
As parents, we got the sleeping thing sorted, the kids are self reliant and toilet trained. We feel that we have given them a strong moral compass, they eat well and we make them do their homework at least three times a week.
But SH and I are the worst tooth fairies ever. Ever. And for this I apologise.