We have two groups of chooks at our house.
There’s Blinky and his Missus, and their two teenagers…(one of them isn’t his, but he never noticed)
And the other bunch of chooks are Amazonian, full size, brown egg laying girls….or should I say Grrrls. Cos they don’t need a man, Man!
Blinky is a devoted and ferocious family man who cuddles up his woman, is protective of his teens to a distance of 10 metres, and sneaks up to attack my ankles if I’m hanging washing on the line and his offspring wander too close to me, which I’m sure they do just for laughs (Oooh! Stop! Gerroff!!)…
BUT the little blighter very recently did a runner on the Missus and the Teens. You see, this Summer it has been incredibly hot here in Murrumbateman and I’d gotten into the habit of letting all the chooks free-range around the place so they could forage in the shady parts, and dustbathe to their hearts content, before being locked up at dusk. Believe me, that sounds much more attractive if you are a chicken. Anyhoo…one night recently after trying to rape and pillage the BIG Grrls, with little or no success other than an odd look…he decided he would woo them further by going home with them THAT NIGHT!
I didn’t notice that he’d snuck into their shed when I went to lock them up at 8.30pm, but when I went to let them out at 7 the next morning, THERE he was trying to tell the BIG Grrls to come and share some breakfast and pillaging with him. They were just stepping over him with irritated looks on their faces, but he was not to be deterred!
I could not figure out why he’d done such a thing, and have been scratching my head about it three days later, until I just went to feed and console his little Missus, and found her sitting plumply, and scoldingly on a little, wee, chick. I’ve told him he has a new baby and responsibility and he must give up on the hope of love with the BIG Grrls and go back to the family home with the Missus and the teenagers and I’ve locked him out of the BIG Grrls bedroom. So far I’ve counted Blinky running 57 laps of the BIG Grrls run to see if there is a doorway he has missed. And I’m pretty sure the BIG Grrls are smiling and sighing with relief.
There’s still another egg to be hatched and whether Blinky’s Missus takes him back or not remains to be seen. Stay tuned.
Blinky, you Love-Rat Rooster you. You’ve just committed the ultimate Love-Rat sin. And you’re gonna pay.
Boy, you’re gonna pay.